Hey parents...

Only you (and your immediate family) think that yours is the greatest kid on earth and can't ever get enough of her/him.

No doubt your kid is pretty great, but either:
  - I have a kid/kids of my own
  (so I don't want to make this a competition),
  or
  - I don't have a kid/kids
  (probably because I don't want them, which means I don't care,
  or because I can't, in which case I don't want to be reminded of your wunderkind),
so please stop foisting her/him on me - it's irritating.
If I'm curious, I will remember to ask about her/him, I promise.

Please do not:
 - make your kid(s) photo your profile pic on Facebook
  (whose page is it again? do you not have your own identity? you used to...)

 - bring your kid(s) to adults-only events, especially if that kid is an infant

 - think for a moment that I want to babysit, or that I will change her/his diapers, ever

 - forget to keep an eye on her/him in public spaces, and in the homes of others

 - force diners in a restaurant to listen to your kid scream or cry or throw a tantrum, nor let your kid run wild -- take that kid outside;
not only do you ruin the experience for others, but you are tacitly encouraging that behavior, making it harder and harder to eradicate now and in the future

 - neglect to let the management of an establishment know when you've left a smelly diaper in the trash in one of their bathrooms -- if management knows, they can make sure the trash is quickly taken out so that other patrons do not have to suffer through that stench in an enclosed space.

Thank you, this has been a public service announcement.